Dagobert's Revenge

Move Over, Shakespeare. Now there’s something meatier.


Sir Francis Bacon
Sir Francis Bacon - illegitimate son of Queen Elizabeth I, author of utopian fantasy The New Atlantis and a number of well-known plays including Macbeth, Romeo & Juliet, King Lear, etc. A prominent members of both Masonic and Rosicrucian circles in the 1600s, Bacon was also a member of a secret society which later became known as the “Baconian Circle”, a society that Christopher Columbus had once been a member of. Bacon saw in the newly discovered Americas the possibility of developing the “New Atlantis” he had written about, a land where “All things in common Nature could produce, without sweat or endeavor: treason, felony, sword, pike, knife, gun, or need of any engine.” So, together with a bunch of his brethren, headed by Scottish nobleman Sir Walter Raleigh, Bacon and friends hatched a plan to colonize Roanoke Island in 1585. After a short time they had all gotten hacked to death by Indians, and it took 22 years before Bacon was ready try again, this time helping to form the Virginia company, which started the Jamestown colony in 1607 under the patronage of James I. Unfortunately, the expedition was not much more successful, and most of the colonists starved to death.

Bacon is believed to have used the name of an illiterate, drunken commoner known as William Shakespeare to author his plays because they were actually veiled accounts of occurrences in his own biological family, and he didn’t want anyone to figure out who his mother was. He had been raised by Queen Elizabeth’s lady-in-waiting, Lady Ann Cooke-Bacon (get it?), and acted as the Queen’s attorney, never revealing to anyone but his close friends that she was actually his flesh and blood. Bacon is believed to have gotten rid of Shakespeare when he was no longer useful by having his friend, poet Ben Jonson lace his beer with arsenic.


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