Dagobert's Revenge

Dark Funeral

Teach Children To Worship Satan

review by Ellis Darwin Windlestraw

Thick as Satan’s soup, this release is chock full of dark flavors and sounds that curdle and congeal like the blackest of bloods. This is the blackest of black metals and a sound that is sure to impress anyone who is into this sort of thing. Dark Funeral, one of Sweden’s best metallic exports, manages to pummel my senses to the point where I am not sure exactly what to say about this other than to mention the word heavy, and heavy this is. Like 660 some odd tons of the heaviest metal you’ll ever have the pleasure of hearing!

There’s 5 songs on this. The first being, “An Apprentice Of Satan”, the only original, non-cover song, by Dark Funeral, on this release. The other tracks are all covers of underground black metal pioneers. There’s King Diamond’s “The Trial” in all it’s satanic glory, and a cover that I actually like more than the original (The King’s high-pitched voice always used to grate on my ears). Then there’s an impressive cover of the kings of cardboard satanic thrash, Slayer, and I must say that “Dead Skin Mask” was a nice inclusion here. Next up is a nice re-working of Sodom’s “Remember The Fallen”. Finally, there’s an awesome cover of the highly under-rated Mayhem song, “Pagan Fears”.

At the end of the day this is a nice homage to those who have helped to forge the way for today’s satanic musickal artists. An added bonus is the Quicktime-computer-MPEG- video, included on this disc. featuring Dark Funeral, banging their devilish heads and shaking their satanic hair, whilst doing a live rendition of “Apprentice to Satan”.

Buy Teach Children To Worship Satan at amazon.com or amazon.co.uk.

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