Dagobert's Revenge Bookstore
Book Review:

The Yahweh Encounters:
Bible Astronauts, Ark Radiations and Temple Electronics

by, Ann Madden Jones


A charming little opuscule written by a deeply religious Christian woman who is convinced that all of the “miraculous” occurrences in the Old and New Testaments can be explained through modern science, in conjunction with the ever-popular ancient astronaut theory. The cover of this book (illustrated crudely by the author’s own daughter, as are the pictures inside) depicts a hamburger-shaped flying saucer hovering in space and shooting a beam of light down onto a red Christian cross. Ann Madden Jones and her husband Joseph spent years scientifically calculating such things as how the Temple of Solomon and the Tabernacle could have functioned along with the Ark of the Covenant to actually communicate directly with ‘God’ (a space alien in a mother ship orbiting the Earth.) Although this is a popular notion amongst fringe theorists and within the occult underground, Madden actually makes the most well-thought-out, detailed and scientifically sound argument I’ve ever read or why this may have been true. Some of the strange rituals the Hebrew priests were required to go through just in order to interact with the Ark of the Covenant safely are very telling, as explained within her exhaustive analysis. For instance, the bathing required of the Aaronic priests prior to the ceremony and the ritual anointment with certain oils would serve to protect the priests from the deadly beta and gamma radiation. The continual slaughter of ‘burnt offerings’ to the Lord and the smearing of the Ark and Tabernacle with voluminous amounts of animal blood also had a purpose. “Not only had the slaughter been necessary to provide a constant replenishing of blood at the base of the altar (to provide ground electrons to the horns of the altar), but it had provided for a continual fire on the altar (which was never allowed to go out.) This fire would have provided a large and steady source of electrons, ions, and incompletely burned heavy molecules suitable to operate the ionic speaker. The ‘Breastplate of Judgement”, bejeweled with a very specific array of precious jewels, along with the other priestly vestments, including the mysteriously undefined items called the Urim and Thummim acted as the microphone and battery for the device. “All twelve of the breastplate crystals would have exhibited enough lasing action to allow a continuous laser beam to travel through the coil over the Mercy Seat (The Cherubim Wings) so as to modulate the carrier wave at audio frequency.” Likewise the famous 7-Headed Candelbra (which would eventually be taken as booty by the Roman Army that sacked the Temple, acted as a “transducer” for the “Continual monitoring by Yahweh of all the people in or near the Tabernacle... The constant;y streaming electrons within the seven flames would have vibrated with any sound waves occurring within the vicinity.” Jones goes on to explain the physics of the glowing pillar of cloud that hovered over the Mercy Seat, and speculates that this might have been capable of projecting an eerie image into the space above the Mercy Seat, as a hologram.” This hypothesis not only explains the fantastic feats which the Ark was capable of performing, but also the danger with which it was regarded. Any machine pumping out this much radiation could easily kill its operators. Jones even suggests that King David and the Aaronic priests, who were chosen to be the only ones to have contact with the Ark, might have actually been inherently more physically able to handle the intense radiation because of a heavenly eugenics program instituted by God. In other words, they were genetically engineered to be the guardians of the Ark of the Covenant. Jones explains the mechanical functioning of the Ark, Temple and Tabernacle systems so well that one could actually use this book as an instruction manual for building your own Ark of the Covenant ham radio in your own backyard. I wouldn’t be surprised if some enterprising young high school nerd were to actually try it.

With the extraterrestrial postulate, Jones also explains other strange occurrences throughout the Bible, including miraculous healings, levitations, materializations, Angelic visits, “Voices from Heaven”, the visions of Ezekiel's Chariots of Fire and the Apocalyptic visions of St. John, the Divine Assumption of Christ into Heaven and the similar assumption of Enoch many years earlier. These visions are explained as a combination of remote E.L.F. wave mind control, coupled with actual abductions of these men into alien craft. Of course, the Virgin Birth can easily be explained as an artificial insemination by an advanced race, and all of the other instances of barren women getting knocked up by aged husbands with the help of angel can now begin to make sense: for instance, Rachel, Jacob’s wife, and earlier, Noah’s mother, whose son was born with a glowing countenance on his face that disturbed his father, causing him to wonder if the boy was actually the son of an angel, a prospect that did not please him because it meant that his wife had been adulterous. And of course, all the antics involved with the Burning Bush and the Hebrews fleeing Egypt can easily be explained as the works of an advanced extraterrestrial civilization.

One of the refreshing things about this book is that the author seems to have little or no familiarity with the occult. She’s probably read Sitchin and Von Danniken, but for the most part, I this that this book is the result of a normal, devout and very intelligent Christian woman trying to explain for herself the miraculous events in the Bible that she fervently believes actually occurred. It just so happens that the explanation which she devised involves extraterrestrials, and it doesn’t seem to have shaken her faith or conviction at all. She loves her God just as much if he’s an actual physical being as if he’s were merely a smoky cloud hovering over a gold-plated box. The other refreshing thing is that, rather than just speculating wildly, she actually spent years testing her theories to make sure that the physical processes she described would actually work. I could recommend this book to anyone interested in UFOs, the Ark of the Covenant, or the mysteries of the Bible in general.

Home Back to the Book Reviews Page
in association with amazon.com


Click on the picture to enlarge.

Buy
The Yahweh Encounters
at amazon.com, or amazon.co.uk.

Book Review Categories:
In-Depth Book
Reviews
|
Fiction |
PoS/RLC |
Fraternal Orders |
Conspiracies |
Magick |
Philosophy |
Psychology/
Anthropology
|
History |
Culture |
Eastern Religion |
Holy Relics |
Science |
Paranormal |
Ancient Civilizations